6659 —השפעה על הצעירים בלי ללחוץ – ההשפעה עצמה מוכרחת

B"H, 24 Teves, 5719
Brooklyn.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

After a prolonged interruption, your letter of 17 Teves has been received^[1].

As for what you write about the cooperation with Tzeirei Agudas Chabad^[2], that you take care in this not to press them, etc.:

It is understood that, in general, the approach is correct that when one does not press someone, he does the thing with more vitality, as our Sages said, "A person prefers one kav of his own to nine kabin of his fellow's"^[3]. On the other hand, it is understood that this applies only to the manner of influencing them; the influence itself is essential, for in general it is said, "Salvation lies in much counsel"^[4]. All the more so^[5] in the relationship between the young and the elders, as the well-known saying of our Sages on this^[6]. And there are many ways and means, also in "ways of pleasantness"^[7], to bring the influence and the guidance in such a way that the recipient will say that he arrived at the point of his own accord.

As for what you write about keeping in touch by letter with your pupil^[8], it is understood that this is not enough. Surely you will try to find a way of writing that will bring the one you are influencing to answer you, for the very knowledge that one has to answer someone leads to more effort that the situation be such as will give satisfaction^[9] to the one being informed. It would be very good if among your friends here you would find some who would keep in face-to-face contact with him, diplomatically of course, so that he does not know that the request and the encouragement came from you^[10]. And even if this effort of your friends is not so^[11] much, nor in inner matters, nevertheless it will surely add something, through the advantage of being close at hand.

With blessings for good news^[12] in all the above.

Notes

1. After a prolonged interruption (לאחרי הפסק ארוך): The recipient had not written to the Rebbe for a long time. His letter was dated 17 Teves, and this reply 24 Teves.

2. Tzeirei Agudas Chabad (צעירי אגו"ח): צעירי אגו"ח = צעירי אגודת חב"ד, the young people's organization of Agudas Chassidei Chabad, active in spreading Judaism and Chassidus (see, for example, letter 8169, of these Chanukah days, to the board of Tzeirei Agudas Chabad in Tel Aviv, with a list of their activities). The recipient evidently worked with them and avoided pressing them, so that they would act of their own will.

3. "A person prefers one kav of his own…" (רוצה אדם בקב שלו מתשעה קבים של חברו): Bava Metzia 38a: מאי טעמא אמר רב כהנא אדם רוצה בקב שלו מתשעה קבים של חבירו, "What is the reason? Rav Kahana said: a person prefers one kav of his own to nine kabin of his fellow's." What is one's own is dearer to him; so what a person does by his own choice he does "with more vitality".

4. "Salvation lies in much counsel" (ותשועה ברוב יועץ): Mishlei 11:14: באין תחבלות יפל עם ותשועה ברב יועץ, "Without strategies a people falls, and salvation lies in much counsel"; likewise Mishlei 24:6: כי בתחבלות תעשה לך מלחמה ותשועה ברב יועץ, "For with strategies you shall make war, and salvation lies in much counsel." Success depends on counsel, so the influence and guidance must not be given up; only the way they are given must be free of pressure.

5. All the more so (כו"כ): כו"כ = כמה וכמה.

6. The well-known saying of our Sages on this (מאמר רז"ל בזה): Megillah 31b: תניא רבי שמעון בן אלעזר אומר: אם יאמרו לך זקנים סתור וילדים בנה - סתור ואל תבנה. מפני שסתירת זקנים בנין, ובנין נערים סתירה. וסימן לדבר (מלכים א יב): רחבעם בן שלמה, "R. Shimon ben Elazar says: If elders tell you to tear down and youngsters tell you to build, tear down and do not build, for the tearing down of elders is building and the building of youths is tearing down; and the sign for this is Rechavam son of Shlomo" (also Nedarim 40a). So, although the young should not be pressed, they must receive guidance from their elders.

7. Ways of pleasantness (דרכי נועם): The verse about the Torah, Mishlei 3:17: דרכיה דרכי נעם וכל נתיבותיה שלום, "Its ways are ways of pleasantness, and all its paths are peace."

8. Your pupil (המחונך שלו): ע"ד = על דבר, "about". The student whom the recipient educates and guides and with whom he corresponds. From what follows ("your friends here") the student is evidently here, near the Rebbe, and the recipient far from him.

9. Satisfaction (נח"ר): נח"ר = נחת רוח. When the student knows he must write and report, he tries to have something to report that will give satisfaction.

10. That the request and the encouragement came from you (שממנו בא הבקשה וההתעורות): The student should not know that the recipient asked his friends to contact and encourage him, in line with the point above, "that the recipient will say that he arrived at the point of his own accord".

11. So (כ"כ): כ"כ = כל כך.

12. Good news (בשו"ט): בשו"ט = בשורות טובות.

Summary

To someone working with Tzeirei Agudas Chabad who avoids pressing them, the Rebbe writes that this restraint concerns only the manner of influence. The influence itself is essential, especially from elders to the young, and it should come pleasantly, so that the young feel they reached the point themselves. Letters to his pupil are not enough: he should write so as to draw replies, and have friends meet the pupil in person, tactfully.