6684 —בר מצוה ליתום כמנהג הרגיל: תפילין חדשיים קודם והחגיגה ביום ההולדת

B"H, 16 Shevat, 5719
Brooklyn.

Brachah v'Shalom!

In reply to your letter.

At an auspicious time you and your children, may they live long, will be mentioned at the holy resting place of my father-in-law, the Rebbe, of saintly and blessed memory, whose soul is in the hidden treasuries on High, may his merit protect us^[1], in keeping with the contents of your letter; and above all, that you may raise your children, may they live long, "to Torah, to the marriage canopy and to good deeds"^[2].

As to your question concerning the bar mitzvah of your son, who turns thirteen in Tammuz, may it be for long and good days and years, and who is an orphan from his father, etc.:

According to our custom, no distinction is made^[3]: one begins to put on tefillin two months before the day of his bar mitzvah^[4], and the bar mitzvah is celebrated on his birthday.

Surely you keep the good custom of Jewish daughters to give tzedakah each time before lighting candles on Erev Shabbos and Erev Yom Tov^[5]. And it would be proper to have the mezuzos in your home checked, so that they are all kosher as the law requires^[6]; and also to make the effort to accustom your son, may he live long, to say every day after the morning prayers the chapter of Tehillim according to his age^[7] [beginning from his bar mitzvah with chapter 14, and the next year chapter 15, and so on^[8]].

With blessings for good news,

On behalf of the Rebbe, shlita^[9]

Secretary

Publisher's notes

No distinction (קיין אונטערשייד): See also above, vol. 9, letter 2816.

Notes

1. My father-in-law, the Rebbe… (כ"ק מו"ח אדמו"ר זצוקללה"ה נבג"מ זי"ע): בעת רצון = at a suitable time (on a day when the Rebbe goes to the Ohel). הציון הק' = the holy resting place of the Previous Rebbe. כ"ק מו"ח אדמו"ר = כבוד קדושת מורי וחמי אדונינו מורנו ורבנו, my father-in-law, the Previous Rebbe, R. Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn; זצוקללה"ה = זכר צדיק וקדוש לברכה לחיי העולם הבא, "may the memory of the righteous and holy one be for a blessing, for the life of the World to Come"; נבג"מ = נשמתו בגנזי מרומים, "his soul is in the hidden treasuries on High"; זי"ע = זכותו יגן עלינו, "may his merit protect us".

2. To Torah, to the marriage canopy and to good deeds (לתורה ולחופה ולמעשים טובים): Following Shabbos 137b, at a bris: העומדים אומרים: כשם שנכנס לברית, כך יכנס לתורה, לחופה, ולמע"ט, "Those standing by say: Just as he has entered the covenant, so may he enter into Torah, the marriage canopy and good deeds."

3. No distinction is made (מאכט מען ניט קיין אונטערשייד): An orphan does not depart from the usual custom. So too the Rebbe wrote above, vol. 9, letter 2816 (18 Tammuz 5714, the letter cited in the publisher's note), to someone who asked about tefillin for an orphan: "As to what you write about putting on tefillin when he turns twelve: although such a custom is cited, I have not seen it practiced among Anash, to change the start of tefillin for an orphan; let him follow what is cited in the calendar Hayom Yom, 2 Menachem Av, to begin putting on tefillin two months before the bar mitzvah" (בהנוגע למ"ש אודות הנחת תפילין למלאת לו י"ב שנה. הנה אף שמובא מנהג כזה אבל לא ראיתי נוהגין ככה בין אנ"ש לשנות התחלת תפילין ליתום ויתנהג ע"פ המובא בלוח היום יום ב' מנ"א להתחיל הנחת תפילין בשני חדשים לפני הבר מצוה).

4. Two months before the day of his bar mitzvah (צוויי חדשים פאר דעם טאג פון זיין בר מצוה): Hayom Yom, 2 Menachem Av: הוראה לרבים: מתחילין להניח תפילין שני חדשים קודם הבר מצוה. בתחלה בלא ברכה וכעבור איזה שבועות בברכה, "A directive for the public: one begins putting on tefillin two months before the bar mitzvah; at first without a blessing, and after some weeks with a blessing."

5. Before lighting candles on Erev Shabbos and Erev Yom Tov (פאר ליכט צינדען ערב שבת און ערב יום טוב): As the Rebbe writes in letter 1626: "keep the good custom of the daughters of Israel to set aside tzedakah for the fund of Rabbi Meir Baal HaNes before lighting candles on Erev Shabbos and Erev Yom Tov" (תחזיק במנהג הטוב של בנות ישראל להפריש צדקה לקופת רבי מאיר בעל הנס - רמבעה"ן - לפני הדלקת נרות בעש"ק וערב יו"ט).

6. Kosher as the law requires (כשר'ה ווי דער דין איז): In the passage "Vehayah im shamoa", in which the mitzvah of mezuzah is stated, the verse concludes (Devarim 11:21): "So that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied", and Rashi: "If you do so, they will be multiplied; and if not, they will not be multiplied" (אם עשיתם כן ירבו. ואם לאו, לא ירבו).

7. The chapter of Tehillim according to his age (דעם קאפיטל תהלים, לויט זיין עלטער): The custom of saying each day the psalm whose number matches one's years. As the Rebbe writes in letter 3564: "a custom of the early generations, publicized by my father-in-law, the Rebbe, to say the chapter of Tehillim corresponding to the number of one's years" (מנהג קדמונים ונתפרסם ע"י כ"ק מו"ח אדמו"ר זצוקללה"ה נבג"מ זי"ע, לאמר קאפיטל תהלים המתאים למספר שנותיו); and in letter 5446: "that is, from the day of the bar mitzvah one begins to say chapter 14, and each following year the next chapter" (היינו שמיום הבר מצוה מתחילים לאמר קאפיטל י"ד ובכל שנה הבאה הקאפיטל שלאחריו).

8. And so on (א. א.וו.): א. א.וו. = און אזוי ווייטער, "and so on".

9. On behalf of the Rebbe, shlita (בשם כ"ק אדמו"ר שליט"א): כ"ק אדמו"ר שליט"א = כבוד קדושת אדוננו מורנו ורבנו שיחי' לאורך ימים טובים אמן, "His holiness, our master, teacher and Rebbe, may he live for many good days, amen". This letter was written and signed by the Rebbe's secretariat, in his name and on his behalf.

Summary

Writing to a widowed mother, the Rebbe's secretariat answers that her orphaned son's bar mitzvah follows the usual Chabad custom: tefillin from two months before, and the celebration on his birthday. It adds blessings that she raise her children to Torah, chuppah and good deeds, and recommends giving tzedakah before candle lighting, checking the mezuzos, and having the boy say daily the chapter of Tehillim matching his age.