1. The Story of the Dudayim and the Sisters’ Struggle
In this week’s portion of Vayeitzei, we encounter a perplexing episode involving Leah, Rachel, and the dudayim—the jasmine or mandrakes that Reuven, Leah’s eldest son, finds in the field. At this point, Leah has four sons of her own and two more through her maidservant, while Rachel has no children herself, only two through her maidservant. When Reuven brings home the dudayim, Rachel asks Leah if she can have some. Leah responds sharply: “Is it not enough that you took my husband? Now you want to take my son’s dudayim as well?” This harsh reply is difficult to understand, especially considering the relationship between the sisters.
Leah then makes a significant production out of the incident, yet surprisingly, she seems to be rewarded for it—that night she conceives again. The Torah describes that she gives birth to additional children following this episode. This raises questions about the nature of Leah’s actions and why she is rewarded for what appears to be a lack of generosity toward her sister.
2. The Birth of Dina and Leah’s Compassion
The narrative becomes even more intriguing when Leah later gives birth to a daughter and names her Dina. The Torah explains that Leah reasoned: if this child would be a boy, she would have seven sons, while Rachel would end up with fewer sons than even the maidservants. Knowing through prophecy that Yaakov was destined to have twelve sons—twelve tribes—Leah prays that her child should be a girl so Rachel would not be left with less than Bilhah or Zilpah. Hashem listens to her prayer and transforms what would have been a boy into a girl—Dina.
This act reveals tremendous compassion on Leah’s part for her sister Rachel. It is striking because it stands in contrast to her earlier harshness regarding the dudayim. How can we reconcile these two sides of Leah: one who refuses her sister a small favor and another who selflessly prays for her sister’s dignity?
3. Rachel’s Struggle for Children and Her Dialogue with Yaakov
The Torah also describes Rachel’s deep anguish over not having children. She pleads with Yaakov: “Give me children, or I am as good as dead.” Yaakov responds by saying he is not Hashem and cannot grant children on his own. He points out that his father Yitzchak prayed for his wife because he himself had no children at all, whereas Yaakov already has children from Leah.
Rachel counters by referencing Avraham and Sarah: Avraham prayed for Sarah even after having Yishmael with Hagar. Yaakov replies that Sarah gave Hagar as a wife first, after which Hashem helped them. Inspired by this logic, Rachel gives her maidservant to Yaakov as well—but still remains childless while others continue to bear children.
The turning point comes after the incident with the dudayim, when suddenly “Hashem remembers Rachel,” and she gives birth to Yosef. This sequence suggests there is something deeper at play in these interactions between the sisters.
4. A Story from Chabad: The Rebbe Rashab and Empathy
This theme of struggle leading to breakthrough is illustrated by a story involving the Rebbe Rashab (the fifth Lubavitcher Rebbe) and his older brother, known as the Raza. The Rebbe Rashab was receiving people in yechidus—a private audience for spiritual guidance—when someone emerged from his room sobbing uncontrollably after being told by the Rebbe Rashab that he could not help him.
The Raza was deeply moved by this man’s distress and questioned his brother about whether it was appropriate conduct for a Rebbe to turn someone away without help. The Rebbe Rashab then agreed to see the man again, after which he emerged smiling and relieved.
The lesson drawn from this story is profound: sometimes a person needs to reach a place of true brokenness before they are able to receive help or blessing from above. The initial refusal was not rejection but rather an act designed to bring out genuine yearning and humility within the individual.
5. Understanding Leah’s Actions Through Deeper Motives
This insight helps us understand Leah’s seemingly harsh response regarding the dudayim. Just as Penina provoked Chanah in Sefer Shmuel “l’shem shamayim nischavnah”—with pure intentions—Leah may have acted similarly toward Rachel. She saw how desperately Rachel wanted children and had tried everything without success: prayer, giving her maidservant, enduring years of waiting.
Leah may have realized that only by pushing Rachel into deeper yearning could she help bring about Hashem’s mercy upon her sister. Her words were not meant as cruelty but as an attempt to awaken within Rachel an even greater longing for Hashem’s blessing—a necessary step before salvation could come.
This explains why Leah is rewarded immediately afterward with another child: her actions were ultimately motivated by compassion and concern for her sister’s spiritual breakthrough.
6. Lessons for Our Own Lives
The Torah concludes this episode by showing how ultimately both sisters fulfill their roles in building Klal Yisrael—the Jewish people—with Rachel giving birth first to Yosef and later Binyamin.
The message for us is clear: sometimes our hardships are meant as opportunities for growth or awakening rather than punishment or rejection. As taught by Chassidus and echoed by many leaders including the Rebbe, if we can internalize these messages quickly, we can merit blessings without prolonged suffering.
May we all learn from these stories how empathy, perseverance, and sincere prayer can transform our challenges into sources of blessing—“v'shavti b'veis Hashem l'orech yomim” (Tehillim 23:6)—“and I shall dwell in Hashem's house forever.”