1. Overview of Toldos: Yaakov and Esav’s Beginnings
Let’s review Torah and Tea for Parshas Toldos, focusing on two sichos. We’ll start with a brief summary of the parsha: Yitzchak and Rivkah had two children—one was a tzaddik—righteous person, Yaakov, and the other was ra—wicked, Esav. The story begins even before their birth, when Rivkah went to inquire why she was experiencing such turmoil during her pregnancy. She was told she had two nations inside her, each drawn to different places—Yaakov to houses of Torah study, Esav to places of idolatry.
This idea is difficult to understand. How could Esav already be drawn to evil while still in the womb? The Torah says he was already inclined toward negativity from the very beginning. Yet, when the pasuk says vayigdelu hane’orim—the boys grew up—it means more than just physical growth; it refers to their spiritual development as well.
2. The Struggle Between Good and Evil Instincts
The Gemara teaches that when a child is in the womb, an angel teaches him the entire Torah, but upon birth, the angel strikes him and he forgets it all. Why does this happen? If a person remembered all his Torah learning from before birth, he would have no struggle or challenge in life—he would naturally do good. The forgetting creates a lifelong battle between one’s yetzer tov—good inclination and yetzer hara—evil inclination.
This struggle is essential for free choice. Even though Esav was exposed to Torah in utero, it didn’t determine his choices later on—he still had the ability to choose good or evil as he grew up. The pasuk’s description of their growth hints at this process: both Yaakov and Esav developed into who they were meant to become through their own decisions.
3. The Challenge of Raising Righteous Children
This raises a question: How could someone as great as Avraham or Yitzchak have children like Yishmael or Esav? Avraham is described as one who “walked before Hashem,” meaning he followed Hashem like a loyal servant whose every desire aligned with his master’s will. It seems surprising that such holy people could have offspring who turned away from that path.
This is relevant for us as parents and educators. We often do our best—teaching our children properly and providing them with good values—but sometimes things don’t turn out as we hoped. In earlier generations, Jewish communities were more insulated from outside influences; today, information and distractions are everywhere, making it much harder to protect our children from negative influences.
The Torah teaches that even with all our efforts, we still need siata dishmaya—Heavenly assistance—to succeed in raising righteous children. Sometimes we wonder where we went wrong, but even Yitzchak had an Esav and Avraham had a Yishmael (who did teshuvah—repentance at the end of his life). This shows that outcomes are not always in our hands alone.
4. Two Types of People: Consistent vs. Struggling Souls
The Rambam describes two types of people: those who live consistently righteous lives—always doing what’s right without much internal struggle—and those who constantly wrestle with challenges and temptations. Some people seem naturally drawn to goodness [UNCLEAR: “the land of Canaan”], while others are always battling desires [UNCLEAR: “the land of Edom”]. Even those who appear to have easy lives may face hidden struggles that push them to grow.
The word nisayon—test or trial—is related to nes—a miracle or banner raised high. Every challenge is an opportunity for elevation; sometimes people who never faced real tests find themselves unprepared when difficulties arise later in life.
The Avos—Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov—were prototypes for all Jews. Their unique qualities were passed down so that every Jew has some special strength inherited from them. This spiritual inheritance empowers us to overcome our own challenges in life.
5. The Role of Parental Effort and Divine Assistance
The fact that Yitzchak produced both Yaakov (a tzaddik) and Esav (who chose evil) teaches us about the limits of human effort in parenting. While parents must do everything possible—educating, guiding, praying—they must also recognize that ultimate success depends on Hashem’s help.
This lesson is especially important today when outside influences are so pervasive. Even if we feel we haven’t succeeded perfectly as parents or teachers, we shouldn’t give up hope or blame ourselves entirely—the greatest parents in history faced similar challenges.
I recall a personal story: years ago I wanted to expel a disruptive student from yeshiva but my father advised against it, insisting on giving him another chance despite his negative behavior. Decades later that student thanked me for not giving up on him—the patience paid off in ways I couldn’t have foreseen at the time.
6. Blessings Passed Down: Inheriting Spiritual Strength
The blessings given by Avraham to Yitzchak—and then by Yitzchak to Yaakov—are not just about material inheritance but about transmitting spiritual power across generations. When Hashem promised Avraham “I will make you into a great nation,” He meant that others would look at Avraham’s descendants and wish their own children could be like them.
This blessing was passed specifically through Yaakov—not through Esav—even though both were sons of Yitzchak. Rashi explains that when Yitzchak blessed Yaakov before sending him away from Eretz Yisrael (the Land of Israel), he gave him not only material blessings but also the spiritual legacy promised to Avraham: “May your descendants be blessed.” This blessing is about having many righteous children whose reputation inspires others.
7. Leaving Eretz Yisrael: Growth Through Challenge
A question arises: Why did Yitzchak bless Yaakov with inheriting Eretz Yisrael specifically when sending him away? Shouldn’t this blessing have been given earlier? Rashi clarifies that inheriting the land wasn’t just about physical possession—it was about carrying forward Avraham’s mission even outside Israel’s borders.
The Rebbe explains that leaving Eretz Yisrael can feel like losing out spiritually—but actually it can lead to greater growth. Yaakov became the father of all twelve tribes not while living comfortably at home but while facing challenges in Chutz La’aretz (outside Israel), specifically in Lavan’s house where he struggled yet succeeded in building his family.
This teaches us that sometimes stepping out of our comfort zone—whether geographically or spiritually—is necessary for true growth and accomplishment.
8. Applying These Lessons Today: Outreach and Hope
This message applies practically: sometimes we hesitate to step away from our own learning or comfort zones for fear it will diminish us spiritually or materially—but reaching out beyond ourselves often brings even greater blessings than staying within familiar boundaries.
The Rebbe often wrote that helping others brings Divine assistance far beyond what we could achieve alone—our minds become clearer and our efforts more successful when dedicated toward others’ growth as well as our own.
We pray for peace in Eretz Yisrael so everyone can live securely without fear—as expressed in the pasuk “Grant peace so we may lie down without worry.” Recent tragedies remind us how precious peace is—a Chabad shaliach recently gave his life on shlichus for the Rebbe and Hashem; may his sacrifice inspire us toward greater dedication but also remind us we’ve had enough suffering already.
May we merit only good news, happiness, peace, and tranquility for all Jews everywhere—and may these lessons strengthen us as individuals and as a community wherever we find ourselves on our journeys.