1. The Parsha’s Lesson: Honoring Parents
This week’s parsha contains a pointed lesson about honoring parents. We read about the episode where Yaakov pretends to be Esav in order to receive his father Yitzchak’s blessings. Yitzchak had grown old and blind, and asked Esav to bring him food so he could bless him. Rivkah, knowing Esav’s true character and Yaakov’s goodness, orchestrated a plan for Yaakov to receive the blessing instead.
Yaakov hesitated out of fear: “What if my father discovers I am not Esav? Instead of a blessing, I might bring upon myself a curse.” This concern shows Yaakov’s innocence—he was described as an ish tam, a straightforward person unaccustomed to trickery or deception.
Despite his innocence, Yaakov ultimately succeeded in securing both the birthright and the blessing from Esav. His hesitation reveals his deep respect for his father and fear of causing harm or disrespect.
2. Rivkah’s Response: The Value of Parental Blessings
When Yaakov expressed his fear that Yitzchak might curse him if he discovered the ruse, Rivkah responded: Olai kilelos’cha b’ni—“Your curse will be upon me” (Bereishis 27:13). At first glance, this seems like little comfort for a son who loves his mother—he would not want her cursed any more than himself.
The Rebbe explains that Rivkah was teaching Yaakov the immense value of seeking a parent’s blessing. She demonstrated that it is worth taking risks for such blessings—even risking personal discomfort or danger—because honoring one’s parents is so precious. Her words were not just about taking on potential consequences herself but were meant to instill in Yaakov an even deeper sense of devotion and respect for parental blessings.
This episode teaches us that sometimes honoring parents requires effort or even sacrifice, but it remains an essential value in Jewish life.
3. Honoring Parents After Their Passing
The opportunity to honor parents does not end with their lifetime. When we say Kaddish or daven in their memory, we express our ongoing connection and respect for them. Life often distracts us from fully honoring our parents while they are alive—distance, busyness, or lack of communication can get in the way.
The Talmud tells a story about a rabbi who lost both parents before birth and lamented never having had the chance to fulfill the mitzvah of honoring them (kibbud av v’eim). Later in life, after learning how demanding this mitzvah truly is, he thanked Hashem for sparing him from potentially failing in this great obligation.
This story highlights how significant it is to honor one’s parents while they are alive and how meaningful it remains even after their passing through acts such as saying Kaddish or learning Torah in their merit.
4. The Transformative Power of Saying Kaddish
Saying Kaddish often brings people into shul who might not otherwise attend regularly—motivated by honoring their parents’ memory. Yet once here, they find themselves learning more Torah, becoming more involved in community life, and connecting more deeply with Hashem than they may have anticipated.
The act of saying Kaddish thus elevates both those being remembered and those doing the remembering. It transforms mourners into active participants in Jewish life and growth.
5. A Blessing for All Who Remember Loved Ones
May Hashem help all those who remember loved ones—righteous men (tzaddikim) and women (tzidkaniyos)—that they should be good intercessors (melitzei yosher) above for their families: bringing health, happiness, and success in all endeavors.
May we soon see the coming of Moshiach and techiyas hameisim—the resurrection of the dead—when we will all be reunited with our loved ones in everlasting joy.