1. The Chabad Custom for Beginning Tefillin
In some communities, there are different customs regarding when a bar mitzvah boy begins to put on tefillin—phylacteries. In Chabad, the custom is that two months before the bar mitzvah, the boy starts training in how to put on tefillin. During the first month, he puts them on without reciting the blessing. Then, in the month immediately preceding his bar mitzvah, he begins to make the bracha—blessing—so that by the time he becomes bar mitzvah, he is fully accustomed to the process and knows exactly what to do.2. Marking the First Day with Extra Prayers
Baruch Hashem, just yesterday my son Shneir Zalman began putting on tefillin. In our family, we have a custom that on this special day we add extra prayers and go to the ohel—the resting place of the Rebbe—to pray for success as he enters this new stage of life. We ask HaKadosh Baruch Hu—the Holy One Blessed Be He—to help him grow and succeed in his journey as a young Jewish man.3. A Memorable Story from My Son’s First Tefillin
I want to share a story that happened with my son Mendy when he started putting on tefillin. He’s now sixteen years old, but at that time something remarkable occurred. We went down to daven at 770, Lubavitch headquarters, where he put on tefillin for the first time. Since we were up early, I suggested we also visit the ohel. When we arrived there around 7:00 AM, I unexpectedly met an old friend from my yeshiva days in Yerushalayim. He heard me speaking English with my son and jokingly questioned why I wasn’t speaking Yiddish like in the old days. I explained that sometimes you have to adjust to your surroundings and learn new ways.4. Seeking Guidance and Receiving a Sign
At the ohel, there’s a front room where videos play continuously showing people’s encounters with the Rebbe over many years. As I sat at a table writing a note for a blessing, my son asked what he should write to the Rebbe and what requests he should make. I told him to ask for help in putting on tefillin every day without missing, to have proper kavanos—intentions—and to grow into a true Yerei Shamayim—a G-d-fearing Jew—and a learned person. No sooner did I finish telling him this than a video played showing someone approaching the Rebbe saying it was his first time putting on tefillin. The Rebbe responded by wishing him success in doing it regularly. This felt like an immediate response from above and left a strong impression on us.5. Looking for Signs and Finding Connection
Since then, whenever I go into the ohel, I sometimes look for similar signs or moments of connection. While it didn’t happen every time, just yesterday something meaningful occurred again: my older son came in from New Jersey for his brother’s first day of tefillin, bringing along another fellow who was also starting to put on tefillin. It felt like another moment of shared purpose and connection among Jews beginning this important mitzvah together.6. Remembering Our Commitments Beyond Moments of Need
I shared with them a joke about someone searching desperately for parking in Manhattan who promises Hashem that if He helps him find a spot, he’ll start putting on tefillin every day. As soon as a spot opens up, he says never mind because now he has what he needs. The point is that sometimes when we’re pressed or seeking help, we make good commitments or resolutions. However, it’s important not just to make these commitments in moments of need or inspiration but to remember them and stay strong even afterward—continuing to do what we’re supposed to be doing consistently as part of our daily lives.