1. Human Nature and Timeless Lessons
Despite all the advancements in technology and science that we experience in our days, human nature seems to remain consistent throughout the generations. Many of the stories we read in the parsha—Torah portion—still apply today. The lessons and values embedded in these narratives are as relevant now as they were then.
2. The First Shidduch: Yitzchak and Rivkah
One of the earliest examples is the first elaborate shidduch—marriage match—between Yitzchak and Rivkah. Avraham’s servant, Eliezer, is tasked with finding a wife for his master’s son, Yitzchak. When Eliezer meets Rivkah, he gives her gifts: bracelets, a nose ring, expensive jewelry. He then asks if there is a place to stay, and Rivkah goes home to tell her family about these events.
Rivkah’s brother, Lavan, hears about what happened. The pasuk—verse—says that when Lavan saw all these gifts, he ran quickly to greet Eliezer. Rashi asks why Lavan was running so eagerly. Rashi explains that Lavan saw this wealthy man giving out valuable items and wanted to greet him himself, perhaps motivated by material interests.
3. The True Test: Kindness Above All
However, the most important lesson from this story is not about wealth or gifts but about character. The real test that Eliezer devised was to see how Rivkah would respond to a simple request for water. Would she just give what was asked or go above and beyond? Her willingness to do more than requested demonstrated that she was truly fitting for Yitzchak.
This test reflected Avraham’s defining trait: chesed—kindness and generosity. While family background was also important (Eliezer sought someone from Avraham’s family), the decisive factor was Rivkah’s virtue of kindness. Hashem chose her because of these beautiful characteristics.
4. Contemporary Relevance of Shidduch Values
These lessons are not just ancient history; they remain relevant today. I recently attended my nephew’s wedding and saw firsthand how the values emphasized in the parsha still play a central role in our own shidduchim. The focus on character traits like kindness and generosity continues to be paramount when considering a marriage match.
5. Material Considerations: Avraham’s Gift to Yitzchak
The Torah also tells us that Avraham gave everything he owned to Yitzchak: “b’yado—in his hand” (Bereishis 24:10). Rashi explains this means Avraham wrote a document transferring all his possessions to his son. This act ensured that others would see Yitzchak as a wealthy young man, making him an attractive match from a material perspective as well.
6. Miracles and Divine Providence in Shidduchim
The story also includes miraculous elements: Eliezer recounts how he left on one day and arrived at his destination on the same day, highlighting Hashem’s involvement in bringing about this match. These miracles remind us that divine providence plays a role in every shidduch.
7. The Enduring Message: Kindness as the Core Virtue
Ultimately, when we look at marriage through the lens of Avraham Avinu and our forefathers’ approach to shidduchim, we learn that the most important virtue is kindness—being generous, giving, and willing to do more than what is asked of us. This remains the core value we should seek in ourselves and others when building lasting relationships.