1. The Power of a Timely Name
This week’s Torah and Tea began with a story about the bris that took place that morning, connecting it to the parsha where Avraham receives the mitzvah of bris milah—circumcision. This act gave Avraham the special privilege to have a son, Yitzchak, and it was at this time that the angel came to tell Sarah she would have a baby boy. During the bris, I shared with the congregation that today is Yud-Alef Cheshvan, the yahrzeit—anniversary of passing—of Rachel Imeinu. Since Rachel passed away when Binyamin was born, it must also be Binyamin’s birthday. After mentioning this, Matskin shared a story about naming their baby. They were debating whether to name him Daniel after his grandfather or Daniel Binyamin. Upon hearing that today is Binyamin’s birthday, they decided on Daniel Binyamin. It was amazing to see how sharing Torah knowledge in real time can influence meaningful decisions in people’s lives.2. The Value of Doing Mitzvos Under Pressure
We often wonder about the value of mitzvos performed without full intent or enthusiasm. For example, Chabad shluchim frequently approach Jews and ask if they’d like to put on tefillin or light Shabbos candles. Sometimes people agree just to get us off their backs, not because they’re inspired or even interested. This raises a question: what is the benefit of such actions? Is there value if someone does a mitzvah only because they feel pressured? Whenever someone initiates something positive, there are always critics who question its worth and try to dampen excitement. But as we see in this week’s parsha, there are deep lessons about encouragement and motivation from Torah itself.3. Different Levels of Motivation and Engagement
People are at different levels when it comes to Yiddishkeit and spiritual sensitivity. Some have an innate feeling for Judaism but need encouragement or reminders to do more; for them, showing the beauty and benefits of mitzvos can be effective motivation. Others may be numb or indifferent, especially those who never had exposure—like friends from the former Soviet Union who grew up without any concept of God or Torah. For these individuals, spirituality is foreign and sometimes irrelevant to their lives. There are also those who are completely apathetic—they simply don’t care about God or Torah at all. While we pride ourselves on reaching out and bringing some people back, many remain uninterested no matter what we do.4. When Encouragement Isn’t Enough: The Role of Rebuke
Sometimes gentle encouragement isn’t enough, especially for those who are completely disconnected or resistant. In such cases, stronger measures may be necessary—a punishment from a principal, harsh words from a teacher, or even uncomfortable truths. The story of Avraham in this week’s parsha illustrates this point beautifully. According to the Midrash, Avraham opened his tent on all sides in the desert and welcomed everyone with lavish meals. After eating, guests wanted to thank Avraham himself for his hospitality, but he insisted they thank Hashem instead. Most agreed easily, but some stubbornly refused—they didn’t believe in Hashem and didn’t want to bless Him. So Avraham told them they’d have to pay for their meal instead—and since food was scarce in the desert, he presented them with an exorbitant bill! Faced with this choice, they quickly agreed to bless Hashem rather than pay up.5. Is Forced Gratitude Genuine?
This story raises an important question: did these guests truly recognize Hashem just because they said “thank you” under pressure? Was Avraham really successful in making Hashem known among people if their acknowledgment wasn’t sincere? When it comes to Jews with a neshamah—a godly soul—even if someone says “no” externally, deep inside there is always a “yes” waiting to come out. The Rambam teaches that when someone is pushed into doing something good and finally says yes (even reluctantly), that yes reflects their true inner will. We want to believe that when someone apologizes or agrees to do something positive (even under pressure), it expresses something real within them—especially for Jews whose souls are always connected to Hashem on some level.6. Can External Pressure Change Internal Attitudes?
But what about non-Jews who don’t have this special connection? Why did Avraham press them so hard? Sometimes pushing someone can actually change their external attitude as well as reveal something deeper inside them. The Rebbe brings an example from the episode of the spies (meraglim). When Moshe rebuked Bnei Yisrael harshly after their refusal to enter Eretz Yisrael, his strong words caused them to change their minds immediately—sometimes rebuke can shake people out of complacency more effectively than positive encouragement alone. Similarly, Pirkei Avos describes a heavenly voice proclaiming “woe” upon those who shame Torah by neglecting it—a negative message designed for those unmoved by positivity alone.7. When Only Strong Words Work: Stories from Chazal and Chassidus
The Gemara tells a story about Rebbe Elazar bar Rebbe Shimon (son of Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai). When greeted by someone he found utterly lacking refinement or menschlichkeit (not just physically unattractive), he responded harshly: “What an ugly vessel you are!” The man replied: “Go tell my Creator.” This exchange jolted him into recognizing Hashem as his craftsman—sometimes only strong words can break through total insensitivity. The Rebbe Rashab (fifth Lubavitcher Rebbe) once told a petitioner he couldn’t help him during yechidus. The man left crying bitterly until another intervened on his behalf; only then did the Rebbe give him a blessing which came true. The initial refusal wasn’t ignorance or cruelty—rather it was necessary for breaking through self-arrogance so he could become a vessel for blessing.8. Never Give Up: Every Mitzvah Counts
Ultimately, whether dealing with Jews or non-Jews (as Avraham did), persistence matters even when faced with opposition or indifference. Even if someone does a mitzvah just once under pressure (“just for you”), halachically every single act has immense value. Often we see that after being pushed into doing something good (like putting on tefillin), people later express genuine gratitude for not being given up on—just as one would thank someone who wakes them during a fire despite initial annoyance. Especially among Jews facing danger (as seen in Israel), even self-described secular Jews reveal deep faith at critical moments—evidence that sometimes all it takes is one push for inner truth to emerge. So don’t underestimate the power of encouragement—even if it feels forced at first—and never give up hope on anyone’s potential for connection and growth through Torah and mitzvos.